I am not the type to put up a post gushing about the one year mark of writing here in my little space in the Internets, but here I am anyway. I just couldn't let it pass by without mentioning it. I tried, really. Actually, what happened is that the day- that -marked -one- official- year of amommaly came and went and I was all- sorts- of- having- no- idea -head- in- my- ass --soul- being sucked out by children needing too much-and also?-I haven't been feeling well ( hence the absence...) BUT...
A few days later and as I flipped the calendar to February I thought Holy Shit I've had amommaly for one year! And I felt proud and disappointed and satisfied and unsatisfied and considered not writing here and always writing here and I felt all once on top of the world and failing, all at the same time, standing in my kitchen holding the corner of a two dollar calendar with cupcakes on it in between my thumb and forefinger. But how I feel about my space here, my feelings of Perpetually Never Being Done with Life Ever because well shit, I have a split second I should be writing something, and how those feelings pale in comparison to the way it feels to give in to the words that burn me and whisper to me and lull me to sleep..that is something that is hard to put into words. They are Unwordable feelings. That being said, when it comes to this blog and one year and feelings there is something I needed to share...I needed to come here and sit here and type through this sick-yuck at five a.m because I could not let another day pass by without saying thank you.
This has been an experience that I all at once wish I did better at yet wouldn't change a thing. Because I came here to share who I am with no one or anyone just to see if I could. Because I couldn't fit another notebook or journal filled with smooth, black ink that smells of zippers in January under my bed or in my drawers.
Because when writing is something you've always done you're always doing it.
It blows my mind even as I sit here that even one single stranger ever sat somewhere and soaked up my words . Imagine then, how blown I am in this moment. Belated, but blown. Belatedly blown
After playing around for what feels like forever, I finally completed my new (and perhaps(?) final blog header! Check it out! If you are reading this on your reader or email, I'd love for you to check out the site and let me know what you think! Click around and check out how I linked all the social media links, as well as my cool new email form that pops up when you click the "Email Me" button!I'm pretty much totally proud of my novice header up there, I mean, I drew those arrows myself ya' know!! I would love any feedback, good, bad, or indifferent!
Ideas?Comments?Suggestions? Going into the second year, what would you like to see more of here on amommaly ? Less of? No more of? Gimme some feedback love!
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