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{randomlyImPERFECT} #1 List: Ten Things
1. I have a hard time cutting my hair, even a little bit, because I am afraid of how people will explain me without starting off with she has the long hair...
2. After I graduated college, I was a newspaper reporter. I took pictures with a disposable camera because we didn't have one. No one ever knew, and not once was I told that they weren't good enough.
3. I am afraid to fly. I always have been. I tried to overcome this fear twice in my Life. The first, I flew to London. The second time? I was flying to Myrtle Beach, SC, and the plane caught on fire. I was holding my then three month old first born in my arms. I have not been on a plane since.
4. I have an addictive personality, and it has affected nearly every aspect of my life in some way.
5. Six years ago, I spent thirty days getting inpatient treatment for anorexia, and am finally at a place where I feel I can help others by sharing my experience, and am proud of coming through on the other side.
6. I can be pretty hilarious.
I love making people laugh, especially my children.
7. No one makes homemade apple pie better than I do.
8. A professor of mine wanted me to go to Stanford. I laughed and told him I didn't want to end up that chic in long sweater coats smoking three packs a day obsessing over her fifteen cats hunched over a keyboard, but the truth is, I didn't think I was good enough and couldn't face the possibility of failing. I went to Rutgers instead, and guarantee you I am just as proud.
9. One of the greatest challenges of my life was being pregnant with my third child and knowing that soon after his birth, my husband was going to have open heart surgery.
10. I have a ball python that was found abandoned who has captured a little piece of my heart.
This post was inspired by Cindy, as well as Sandra's post over at Letters of Muse.
I would love to hear some of your "things"...what are you afraid of? What are you great at? What did you almost do? What do you regret doing? Leave me some randomness in the comments below!
Even in this randomly imperfect list, I feel like you've bared your soul as well! How did it feel pushing the 'publish' button on this one?
ReplyDeleteDo 'addictive' and 'perfectionist' go hand in hand? If so, then I can relate. I'm working on that one. I can also relate to the 'I'm not good enough' one. Maybe that's why I have the need to be nearly perfect, to fool myself into being good enough? I dunno.
I'm so proud of you coming out the other side with rehabilitation and your hubs' major surgery. But you knew that already. I'm so proud you're sharing that as a piece of you.
One last thing: my turtle is your python.
So who knew that my last-minute, imperfect post would inspire people (another friend, too) to write their own random list? Certainly not planned, or perfect, or my norm. Thank you to Cindy's Challenge, and thank you, Kim, for the mention. I have an abundance of love for this post. Virtual hugs until next August.
Oh Sandra, Thank you so much! You know, for everything.
DeleteHitting publish? To be honest, it didn't feel good. I was full of anxiety that translated into a twisty stomach and a 'raw' feeling in my brain. The rawness, in hindsight, may have been my lack of sleep, which is accumulating.
Addictive and Perfectionist can and often do go hand in hand...
Your support and friendship rock. Hard.
Also? My Python is a Pussy. Random, but, hey, going with the theme here.
Sometimes, there is such beauty in the Unexpected. xoxo
Great job on your post. You really do rock. I am loving your list. I REALLY like reading random lists - I like to get to know people this way. You need to go over to Sandra's comments on her post b/c I wrote there too. We make a great trio, I think.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, random Cindy:
1. I like to do extreme things to my hair on my own though, not via trained professional because that would make sense and I couldn't really bitch about the outcome. Now that I am "older" though, I haven't done it so often. I've been every color but the worst was when I went from black to blonde (I don't recommend it unless you like mac & cheese colored hair); I will cut my below the bra strap hair to a short bob without a thought. My husband hates this and has made me promise I won't go above my chin (he's compromised, it used to be shoulders).
2. I am not domestic AT ALL - I hate cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. I subconsciously mess it up so I don't get asked to do it. I was smart though, I married a frigging male Martha Stewart who kicks ass in these departments. We have a reversed traditional role relationship and it really works for us.
3. I am a really great mom. I love my kids, I loved being pregnant, I love playing with them, teaching them, hanging with them until bedtime when I am all "get to bed so mama can relax with daddy".
4. I had no interest in marriage or kids EVER. I met my husband at 19. We dated for years but it was open. We broke up for 6 years (he asked me to marry him, I literally puked in my mouth) and then got back together and married in a matter of months. We're going on 9 years in November. Who would have thought it?
5. I am a technophobe. That is why I stick to the computer. I don't even have a cell phone right now and when I did, it was the old fashion flip phone. I don't even text. Don't really know how. Shameful, I know.
1. There were many years I dyed and redyed my hair and I love colors as well and now? Now I have so much fucking gray pieces of shit I have to do it like an old washed up lady and make appointments with the same girl with perky boobs and fabulous clothes and smooth hands who knows the same numbers to mix to get just the right amount of gray coverage, and all over coverage, and highlights. Far from the Burgundy I so loved. I once painted my walls crimson to match my hair. Now I just do an occasional piece of two, or sometimes chalk...which leads me to: do you know you can COLOR YOUR HAIR TEMPORARILY WITH CHALK? (soft pastels, NOT sidewalk chalk) My daughter and I have done it a few times. Slightly messy, but super fun.
Delete2. My domesticity is growing as the years go by. However, I cannot iron. I don't have any desire to learn, either. I feel guilty because I can't be that Wife that irons her husband's work clothes, and he has to iron mine.
3.You are a really great mom. I have thought that to myself more time than I can count as I have read your words. I love LOVE that you have the confidence to write that.
4. Nine Years. Long ass time. UNEXPECTED BEAUTIFUL SHIT, right?
5. Yea, we are gunna have to talk about this. It's not that I don't understand, because I do, in fact it attributes to my being so late to the blogging world, which I regret almost every day now, but Cindy...I wanna hang out moorrrreeeee....
Yes. We Three.
xoxo
I love your list, and your open, and your honest.
ReplyDeleteI mostly love learning more of your story. Love.
It could be the way I hit publish, with an unsure finger and a question mark clouding my sleep. It could be the way that I was unable to get here and so I worried and wondered and felt locked away from my own place, my own corner, my virtual tree fort.
DeleteI am here now, all these hours later, and these words are bright and bold and like a blanket over my worry and my wonder.
Thank You for visiting, and taking the time to leave me your words!