The Limit


As you may know, lately I have discovered and been mildly addicted to the writing challenges over at Trifecta. So, the other day, I sat down to write something for this week's challenge and came up empty: I had no clear story line, no where to go, no character living inside my head forcing me to give her a voice. I gave up, decided that perhaps I'll sit this week out.  
This evening, I sat down to write a blog post regarding my cupcakes and an easy centerpiece idea for Easter. 
And this came out: 
My entry for this week's Trifecta challenge: use the 3rd definition of the word brain(noun): something that performs the functions of a brain; especially : an automatic device (as a computer) for control or computation, write a story/poem between 33-333 words. 
My Entry: 298 Words
*THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION*

THE LIMIT

She felt the familiar tickle in her abdomen, deep beneath the soft trails of skin, roadmaps left by the others.  She gripped the steering wheel, then released it, let her fingertips run over the knobby hills, gripped again.

She drove past the parking lot entrance twice, on purpose. She wasn’t ready. She simply wasn’t. She knew this day would come, eventually. She knew when she had her second child that it meant one day, she would have to do what she did not yet understand.

Knowing something would come and something coming are intricately different.

And soon, she found herself staring at the angles of the geometric patterned stainless steel ceiling, blurring the lines. Her stomach somersaulted to the tip of her tongue,back down again, quickly.

Her feet sat perfectly in place, her entire being shivered on the inside.

Uncontrollable.

The swoosh of the automatic door swam into her ears, filled her up, brought bile to the back of her throat.

Acrid and burning and fiery.

“Patient 234-76-9999” she heard her social security number, a monotone sequence of her identity from the Brain of Human Quota. The warm bile trickled out the right side of her mouth and briefly warmed her.

She should have opted for the tubal ligation two years ago.  She thought surely she’d piss out this fucking micro chip and they’d never know about her third.  



She should have known better.

The mechanical sounds of metal arms clanking metal tools or objects on metal trays or the floor drove her mad but she would not look away from the beautifully arranged polygons and hexagons meeting at exactly the right places on the ceiling above her, she could not look away from her blurred reflection, a marbled white stone in a sea of  shiny tar. *****



I was so undecided about whether or not to post this; it is so, so far out of my "zone" and I don't feel very confident putting it out there, but I feel that there isn't much point to a challenge if one doesn't actually feel challenged sometimes. 


Next Up? 


It's all cupcakes and Easter bunnies. 


Maybe. 


The inconsistencies of my mind are a mystery to me. 



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19 comments:

  1. "Knowing something would come and something coming are intricately different." This line is really haunting. It sums up your piece well. Well done.

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    1. Thank you so much! I came very close to taking that line out, and I am glad I didn't!! I agree, it is haunting, and therefore, important. :)
      Thanks so much for reading and commenting on my piece!

      Delete
  2. I agree! I liked that line. Any take on a difficult prompt is a good take. I enjoyed reading!

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    1. Thanks Gina! It was an unexpectedly difficult prompt, thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment!

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  3. It is disturbing, but a great take on the prompt! Great job and good luck!

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    1. Thanks so much for reading and commenting on my piece!

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  4. That line is so haunting because it is truth.

    This is a different style than what you normally write. I enjoyed the change in genre, but it still had a similar anguish and pain as in other trifecta challenges you participated in. This resonated with me and struck a chord. Made me think. Well done.

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    1. Thank you Cindy! It's funny, I really, really hesitated, hovering over that 'publish' button...It IS so different from my style,and I didn't want to turn any of my readers(i.e. YOU) away by,oh, freaking them the fuck out.
      Thanks again for your kind words:)

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  5. I think this one kind of forced us all out of the zone. Nice work, though. You did great! Thanks for sharing.

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    1. And thank YOU for reading, and taking the time to comment!

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  6. Just to be clear: are there rules about have more than two kids? Is this why she was so scared? They found out she was pregnant again and had to take steps?

    Disturbing imagery regardless

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    1. It's a strange and disturbing take on Population Control...two child max yes. She opted to get the micro chip,thinking she could 'beat the system', but alas...
      Thanks for reading!

      And yes...steps. :(

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  7. Her vision of the ceiling so eloquently describes her sickened and anguished state of being. So much vivid imagery here. Disturbing, yes, but really great writing.

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  8. Thanks for linking up to Trifecta this week. If you haven't already done it, you might be interested in clicking on the "Meet Your Fellow Trifectans" tab on our site and introducing yourself there. Hope to see you back on Monday for the new prompt.

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  9. I am glad you hit the "publish" button on this one. I can see how you might have been nervous to post it - it is definitely different from some of your other work I've read. I like the in media re feel of it - the fact that you don't go into explicit detail to describe the situation. You let us put the big picture together from the details.

    Wonderful job challenging yourself!

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    1. Sorry for the late response...I have been without phone and internet for most of the day, but I wanted to thank you for taking the time to read my entry, and for your amazing comment!!!

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  10. Replies
    1. Yes...it can, and often does...:)
      Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!

      Delete

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